MILK AND COOKIES STORY.

About 30 Years ago, on Christmas Eve, I was feeling a little unwell so,  I took some medicine to make me feel better, and to help me to deliver the presents around the world. Well, that was my excuse!

 I set out to deliver the presents,  and as usual, the children in

every house left me:-  a small glass of brandy, a mince pie and carrots for the reindeer.  I went from house to house crying, “HO HO HO”, while delivering presents,  and soon I was beginning to feel merry, I was having a wonderful time!

                 On my way back to the North Pole, the sleigh was gliding through the night sky when, all a sudden, an huge Jumbo Jet pulled along beside me. The co- pilot wound the window down and shouted, “Hey Santa, are you Ok?  Our navigator has been tracking you on his radar, and he has told the Captain that your sleigh is having a bumpy ride!  It’s going up and down and up and down, so the Captain said we had better check on Santa because, he’s the greatest guy on the planet, and we have got make sure he is ok.”

“I am OK,”  I shouted, “Merry Christmas Ho Ho Hic!”

 I now know it is wrong to drink and fly because, when we landed with a thud in the North Pole, we ended up in a heap in the snow!

I got off the sleigh, and told the elves to put the sleigh away and headed for the house.   Just as I got to the door, I slipped and tripped, and somersaulted and bounced, covered in snow, into the house!  “Have you been drinking?” asked Mrs Clause, “Santa you ARE drunk!  How many drinks have you had?” to which I replied, “I have had only one.”  “Yes, one in every house”  exclaimed Mrs Clause!  She was very angry indeed!

 “Take off you boots, and put your sack over in the corner” she  said.  So I hung my head down and I did what I was told. Then all of a sudden, I realised there were still toys in the sack, I had forgotten one little boy! “Quickly, I must go back.” I cried as I ran outside, and shouted to Rudolph, “come quickly, and bring a saddle!”  We put the saddle on Rudolph, and as I jumped on his back, I fell straight back off again! “Santa is still drunk” said the main elf, “bring lots of black coffee and an ice pack for his head.”  That was what was needed, and soon I was feeling good again.

        I got onto Rudolph’s back and shouted “HI HO RUDOLPH AWAY” and up we went speeding into the night sky. “FASTER RUDOLPH, FASTER,” I cried, “we have got to deliver these presents before the little boy wakes up!”

 I could see his house in the distance when all of sudden, the bedroom light went on. Luckily for me, I had already filled his stocking, so I knew the little boy would look in there first. “Rudolph, land in the front garden” I said, “I will use my magic key, it will be quicker than going down the chimney!” 

 I crept into the house and put the presents under the tree, just as  I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and the words “has he been yet?”  I hid behind the sofa as the little boy opened the door to look for his presents. Oh, the joy on his face I will never forget.  This was the first time I had seen with my own eyes, the joy that I bring on Christmas Morning.

 I quietly left the house, hoping the little boy would not look out of the window and see Rudolph in the garden. We flew back to the North Pole and I told Mrs Clause that, from now on I am going to tell the children to leave me milk and just a little brandy!  Of course, I am only joking, and from now on it’s milk only when I am flying.

WRITTEN BY DEREK BUCKHAM/VAL BUCKHAM/PETE BARCLAY/JIM GREENLEAF.